Yes, I am a lazy fuck

Well the last week or so has been pretty busy for all of us here at Connie Bongrips, so, to tide you over while I furiously type up my hometown recaps, here are my unedited notes from last weeks episode. Sorry I’m lazy. Kisses

How the fuck are Adam and Matt still here?

Is Geneva a great place to fall in love? What makes a place better for falling in love?

“Guys, we need you to act hyped while getting off this ferry”

Hunches wants to take Rachel to meet his family, even his shitty mom

Matt, this is not gonna work out and she is not gonna meet your family.

How many times will these bros talk about their fams this ep? Over/under 10000000

What is Matt’s secret?

Wowwwwwwwwww, she wants to fuck Bryan v badly

Rach is not playing this diplomatically, but she don’t care

Why does he get to drive the Bentley? Shouldn’t she be driving his ass around?

They would get fucking watches

“I like black”- Brian, and watches apparently. V horny for watches

Are they gonna fuck in this watch store?

Adam and Matt have a little meeting about how they are so lame

Dean throwing some shade at Bry guy

We don’t know shit about Bryan

Dean gets another. Adam and Matt are so fucked

DEAR GOD THAT IS A FULL WINE GLASS

Bryan would want an earring

Bryan wants a pic of her in her school uniform? This dude is soooooooo greasey

Bryan never says any shit about himself

What does Bryan mean by his ex not meeting his mom halfway? What the fuck kind of shit is this lady gonna pull?

Bryan makes me want to cover myself in hand sanatizer

“Now let’s makeout in front of this string quartet”

He is devouring her upper lip

Rachel loves taking dudes to church apparently

“You would have fun…” Dean is hating this

They really need to retire the “Ask the old people couple how long they’ve been together” bit cuz that shit is played out

Dean is fucking struggling

Rach is amazing. Dean is trying so hard to not get real. Holy deflection, batman “What’s your favorite dinosaur? You’re so pretty”

Peter gets the 3rd one on one, Rach is really holding on tight to that top 3

Lawyer Rachel trying to get Dean on point and actually talk. This kid needs help

Now I need to know how eccentric Dean’s dad is

Dean is so bummed he’s getting this rose. He does not want to introduce her to his fam

“Dysfunctional patriarchical family” lol wut? This dude’s dad must really suck

Cue the making out in front of a fountain as rach creams her jeans

Peter cannot stop picking up Rach

Helicopter tour of the Alps, not a bad date at all.

Dogsledding? That is fucking dope

Hey let’s show more of dudes talking about other dude’s dates

Peter pulling out the “I might leave” card. A bold strategy but I think it’s gonna work

These are some heavy pours at Peter’s din

What is this breakup story? Ohhhhhhh I see, he’s the “I’m not sure if I can love” guy

“I don’t like the word difficult” – Adam. Is it actually the word you don’t like, or the idea the word represents?

I think she’s reading too hard into this whole Peter might not propose thing. He just said that if he wasn’t feeling it he’d let her know.

There’s no way Peter doesn’t win.

“Peter’s hometown could become my hometown” ummmmmm, is that how that works?

Hunches is in his own head

Did Adam really just say that his relationship was the strongest in the house? Bruh, no one even knows who you are

This 3 on 1 is turning into peacoat city.

Lol Hunches is always hyped. So much bouncing at the news that they were going to France

“I don’t think anything is difficult” -Adam. Really?

Hunches has this in the bag

Hunches just gets better and better with camera time

Rachel crying because Matt reminds her of herself and she has to send him home

I’m waiting for the day when some one doesn’t let the Bach walk them to the car

Adam, I feel like you don’t really know what’s going on

Adam may be  turning this around, but I’m not convinced

Holy shit Adam is talking a lot

Damn Hunches, this is heavy. This is some shit from the Wire

Fucking hometowns. Everyone loses their shit over meeting their family. It’s like, they can’t all be that good

And Hunches pulls out the win. Looks like we’re gonna get to meet his mom who never loved him.

Hunches looks so sad and I’m not sure why

Holy shit  Dean’s dad looks insane

And that’s that. Rankings are pretty easy for this week with the four remaining guys

  1. Peter
  2. Bryan
  3. Dean
  4. Eric
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